Somewhere between newborn pictures and college graduation, parenting becomes much more difficult than we ever could have imagined. As we navigate these experiences, it is easy to feel lost in our relationships with our children. Below are some ideas that could help you feel a bit more in control of your family’s journey.

1. Keeping the peace: Harvey Karp, author of The Happiest Baby on the Block, wrote about an important family rule: whoever is most upset, talks first. As parents, we often feel the need and even the right to talk first. However, we can improve our communication and overall relationship with our kids if we step back and allow our child to speak first. By acknowledging our children’s emotions, we can validate them and provide support. Once they have had time to speak, parents may step in, explain their reactions and even address consequences, if needed.
2. Monitor screen use: I do believe in monitoring screen use for children; however, in this case, I am referring to being aware of your own technology time. A recent study indicated young children physically look to their parents for feedback an average of 1-2 times per minute. Imagine you are checking your email for five minutes while your child plays nearby. That is potentially 10 times that you did not appear available to your child. Being a parent is one of the busiest jobs in the world; add expectations for work, extended family, and school, and there is a seemingly impossible amount to be done. However, if you are more aware of your time on screens, you may find that your children are more open and responsive to family interactions.
3. Stay positive Take time to observe your children doing something good. Within the hectic week, it is normal to check-in on homework, chores, or activities. But we sometimes forget to tell our kids about all of the kind, smart, and funny things that they do every day. A simple “Thanks for doing the dishes” or “So nice of you to help your brother” can prove that all of those great things are important and appreciated. Hopefully, your family can use these ideas to make your ride a little smoother!

Dr. Danielle Romano-Cihak is a licensed clinical psychologist, who is dedicated to working with children, young adults, and families to help support healthy, happy relationships.